Tag: Anonymous

What inspires you the most to write? What do you like to write best about?

I like to write about people becoming happy and what it takes to get there. That’s my favorite thing. Simple happiness, complicated happiness, unexpected happiness. I suffer horrible depression, so I want everyone to be happy. I like to explore what people will do to become happy. I know my writing is often really angsty, but in the end, fleeting or not, I want my characters to experience some sort of happiness.

First of all, I’m a huge fan of your spn fics! I’m a new follower to you but I’ve noticed you have a a pretty busy life. Yet you still post fics at least once a week, sometimes more! How? Where do you find time to write? I think my life is slow compared to yours, yet I still never seem to have time to write!

Honestly, anon, just thinking about this question made me tired. 😀 First of all, though, thank you for the compliment! Writing fics is pretty much my favorite thing!

Second, and I’m not just blowing smoke out of my ass here, the only really useful advice I can give about finding time to write is: just make the damn time!

It sucks to say, but there’s no magic spell that makes people able to finish whatever they’re writing. There are a few things that work in my favor. 1) I type very fast. 2) My ideas are almost always solid when I start writing them, even if I veer off later. 3) I’ve been writing professionally for 15 years now.

What works against me: 1) I have a full time job outside of the house. 2) I have a small child who isn’t old enough to most things for herself and/or without supervision. 3) I’m totally alone in life. I have no one to come home to or to help me with daily chores. I’m a completely single mom. 4) From 6 am to 9 pm are “work hours,” either parenting or job work.

That usually means I have exactly one full hour a day to myself. Not an exaggeration. I always use that hour to do something with my writing. It may not be much, and I may not have the mental energy left, but I try. It’s on the schedule. It gets done.

Now, I know that also probably sounds like I shouldn’t be able to publish 4k chapters every few days, and that’s true. And many weeks, I don’t. Whenever I find a spare moment during the day that can’t, or doesn’t have to be, used for something else, I write. I write on my lunch break, during slow times, when Nerdler is watching TV before bed and doesn’t need me for anything. Some weeks, those 15, 20, 30 minute intervals add up to hours of time I would have otherwise wasted.

That also means I often put my other hobbies aside until weekends where I don’t have custody of Nerdler and therefore have large swaths of time where I can game, knit, read, watch a movie, go out with friends, whatever. That works for me because writing is my passion.

But I’m gonna be real with you, and I’m sure you’ve heard some iteration of this before because it’s true: If you really wanted to write and finish things, you don’t “find” the time, you “make” the time. That’s all it is. I schedule what time I can, and I use it. Unless you want to get bogged down with writer’s block or never finish anything, you can’t just wait for your muse. You have to power through and force yourself to write even when don’t want to. Just like going to work, brushing your teeth, taking a shower. When I stopped scheduling my writing, and only wrote when I felt like it, I ended up with writer’s block for two fucking YEARS. It was awful. Then I forced myself to write. And it was shit. But I did it. And now I do it every day on the schedule. Of course, I also take some breaks. Once writing because habitual, I was able to take a day or two off a week and not have to worry about not being able to return to it properly.

If you want to write, you push through and do it. Sometimes it’s not always about the art. It’s about the job. But at the end of the day, after every day you do it, it gets easier and more enjoyable and it keeps going. Good luck! JJ is cheering for you!

14 and/or 32, if you’re still taking prompts? I have a weakness for mShenko, any universe.

This is the last one. And you know something? I’m combining the numbers. I think I’ve been really nice and fluffy to y’all up until this point, haven’t I? Now I need to give up with true JJ style. Mild NSFW smut and angst.

#14&#32: (A whisper in the ear & In a way I can’t return)


Sometimes Kaidan worries that he says it so much, it might lose its meaning. Not to him – never to him – but maybe to Shepard hearing it too many times. He just can’t help it, though. There have already been too many times where it could be the last, that he has to say at every appropriate moment.

Before missions, after them when they’re bad, in the morning, last thing at night. Over coffee sometimes is nice. Sitting with their feet kicked up on the coffee table in the Captain’s Cabin, watching the fish.

“I love you, Shepard,” he says.

Shepard takes his hand and pulls him closer. “Love you, too.”

There’s always weight and meaning behind it, so he knows it still packs a punch. Maybe he’s just being foolish thinking it won’t. It’s not often enough that it actually starts to sound like gibberish, like when he repeats the same word over and over and over and over just to find out how strange it sounds when it becomes nothing but a jumble of consonants and vowels.

His favorite is always when they’re skin on skin, all barriers down. Shepard moves against him, slick sweat and the intermittent crackle of biotics between them. Fingers entwined, bodies entwined, not a centimeter separating them, spiking the pleasure higher and more frantic. Shepard presses warm lips against Kaidan’s damp temple. Whispers, “I love you,” into the shell of Kaidan’s ear with such force he might as well have been screaming it, right before he comes.

It’s always something. It’s always everything, and there’s nothing to take it away ever. No way for it to not be returned. Kaidan’s learning that slowly but surely. He’s positive that it will always be there when they land in London, but it scares him all the same.

He won’t – he can’t – say it here in the eye of the hurricane. It would be an excuse or a reason for Shepard to do something reckless and stupid. He’s too fond of saying it right before taking on a thresher maw or a reaper on foot. Kaidan’s relief is a physical thing when they part at the checkpoint, deep kiss and a press of their foreheads together. Shepard doesn’t say it, he doesn’t say it, and Kaidan is beyond thankful. It means they still have a chance.

Then there’s the second he knows, deep in every fiber of his being, Shepard is going to say it. It hits him just as hard as the blast from the Mako that leaves him breathless and bleeding. He can see it in Shepard’s eyes as he hustles them to the Normandy.

He really does try his best to stop it. “Don’t leave me behind,” he says, though he already knows what’s next.

“No matter what happens, know that I love you. Always.”

I can’t. “I love you, too.”

Since he said it back, maybe this will just be something to yell at Shepard about later. When it’s over. When they’re patching themselves up and watching the fish with their feet kicked up on the coffee table in the Captain’s Cabin. Later. Later, later, later. Shepard’s saying his I’m-about-to-do-something-stupid “I love you” that’s always been fine. Just a few hours of anxiety for Kaidan.

He’s gone in the beam and Kaidan is choking on his I love you. It feels like hours. When his comm goes active again, he’s in the medbay with Chakwas cleaning him up.

He hears Shepard. He hears the tone in his voice. It’s almost all static over the private line. “Kaidan. I love you.”

The line is dead. Kaidan can’t say it back. He can’t return it this time.

16 for mshenko:)

Order up! #16 (Over and over again, till it’s nothing but a senseless babble)

From this I love you prompt list!

“Oh, for the love of – which one of you is responsible for this?”

Wrex chuckles. Garrus makes a noncommittal noise. Liara swears she saw nothing. Tali shrugs. James looks only a little worried. Kaidan glares at them all then repeats the question. Same answer.

“Kaidan?” a barely-luid Shepard croaks from the sticky bar floor. “’s’that Kaidan Alenko? Kaidan!”

“What did you give him to drink?” Kaidan demands.

“Little bit of this and that,” Garrus answers.

“Some of it might have been illegal,” Wrex adds.

Liara at least has the decency to look chagrined. “Most of it was probably illegal.”

“Shit,” Kaidan answers. “All right. You people are officially off shore leave. Report back to the ship and just hope that the Hero of the Citadel doesn’t die.”

He doesn’t wait for any of them to respond. He bends down and hooks his arm under Shepard’s, dragging the man up to as standing a position as he can get him. Shepard sways dangerously, eyes closing.

“Don’t you dare pass out,” Kaidan says sharply. “I will leave you in a gutter somewhere. If I can find one.”

“Kaidan,” Shepard drawls. “Kaidan, y’know, you’re amazing.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says sarcastically. “Left, right, soldier. Come on, we’re almost there.”

His back is aching by the time he dumps them into a skycar to the docks and through the decontamination system that lasts much longer than necessary because Shepard is alcohol-sweating something the filters don’t like. The walk of shame to the Captain’s Cabin is worth it for Kaidan’s state of mind. It’ll take a lot for him to live this one down. Then again, he’ll probably wear the drunken shame like a badge of honor.

Kaidan’s glad that he’s been here to the cabin enough that he can maneuver it in the dark.

“Need t’feed the fish,” Shepard mutters.

Kaidan ignores it and dumps the commander on his bed. He sits down on the edge to help remove Shepard’s boots, socks, pants. “You’re plastered,” he says.

“I love you,” Shepard says. He wavers up for a sloppy kiss that Kaidan allows him because there’s no use arguing with a drunk/drugged/whatever man. “I love you,” he says again. Then his brain appears to get stuck in a feedback loop. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” a dozen or more times. A second dozen, and Kaidan starts to chuckle. Shepard is pressing kisses all over him, up his neck and over his face, probably flirting because he keeps missing his mark for the lips. The repeated mantra of love goes on until it sounds like Kaidan’s shorted out his translation implant and can’t understand the words anymore.

They’re rolling on the bed, uncoordinated and laughing and kissing and suddenly Shepard is asleep, snoring loudly. Kaidan both wants to continue laughing and punch him all at the same time. He gives up on both, worming his way out from under his weight to brush his teeth and dress down for bed. He can deal with the commander’s hangover in the morning. Or not.

JJ you okay? Your WIPs are all great. Which one was insulted? Don’t let them get to you. I was just reading Normandy and thinking about how great the writing is and how you used your sources are. Your writing is amazing:)

Hello, Anon! Yes, thank you, I am A-OK. 😀 I’ve caught some flack about almost all of my WIPs recently, but I haven’t responded to the hate mail. I think it might be the same person, and I’m assuming it’s a troll. It usually doesn’t ever upset me because, hey! Haters gonna hate, and most trolls give up when they can’t get a rise out of me. Plus, it’s usually not personal. Someone just trying to make everyone’s life more miserable. But this person is sort of sticking around? They’re going after literally every chapter and oneshot that I post, and that means it’s a personal attack, and I really don’t know what I could have possibly done to upset someone so much that they feel the need to send me hate every single time I post something.

Anyway, thank you for your kind words! The meanie anon is making me a little sad, but again, I’m brushing off what I can because it’s not about my writing, I don’t think.

How do writing multi-chapter fics? D: I try so hard! Every time I finish a chapter I’m stuck on the next. Then I can’t finish anything because I get lost and burn out. How did you write 41 chapters??? How are you still writing multi-chapter fics????

I’m sure it’s really unhelpful for me to just say, “pure determination,” but that’s part of it. Making an outline is really the first big step. Even if you end up with more chapters, or less; going in a different direction, or not. Outlines can be rewritten as needed, but they always help keep you at least focused so you’re not sitting there with a blank page going, “what now?”

However, the number one biggest thing that’s helped me not stall out or take weeks to do a new chapter is actually something I only started doing with my last fic, and probably would have helped me complete Burn Down the Sky in less than the year it took. Anyway, what I do now is never have a blank page. When I finish a chapter, I immediately open a new document for the next chapter and write at least a sentence or two before going back to edit the previous chapter for posting. Sometimes I get sucked in and write a paragraph or a page. Sometimes just the first sentence. That way when I’m ready to just sit down and work on it, it’s not a blank page and I already have a direction to go in. It’s honestly saved me so much frustration blanking out on chapters. 

You said you like the difficult anon asks, so here’s one for you! What are your top ten favourite video games *in order* and why?

Okay, this actually is pretty hard because I have some games I’ve only played once and will love forever, and some that are just “eh, it’s fun” that I’ve played a dozen times, but won’t make the list. I had to think about this a lot, but it was definitely something I truly enjoyed, seeing as how gaming defines a large part of me. And I’m outing myself as a mostly RPG player. Anyway, in order:

1. Final Fantasy VIII (PC/Playstation): It was my freshman year in college. PS2 had just dropped, and PSOne was on deep discount. I bought one, and asked the sales associate to give me the longest game he could think of since I was on Spring Break. He handed me a copy of FFVIII. I’d not been a gamer since Super NES in elementary school, so I had no idea what I was in for. I played that game once. Then again. Then again. And then I bought the rest of the franchise that was out. You want to talk about a game I own more than once copy of because I love it so much? This is it. I have it on Steam, PSOne, and PC disc. I will always love this game. And I even named my cat Squall.

2. Mass Effect 1-3 (PC/PS3): This is a given, right? I’d seen the world premiere of Paragon Lost at an anime convention, and then sort of forgot about it. Then I was bored with Christmas money, and was debating between the Uncharted trilogy. I literally tossed a coin. Mass Effect won. I have it on both PC and PS3. It was dirt cheap on sale with all the DLC. I’ve never been happier about the outcome of a coin toss in my life. But, you’ll also notice that Uncharted is on the list, too.

3. Ni no Kuni (PS3): This game. THIS GAME. I’d been waiting most of my life for this game. I’m one of Miyazaki’s biggest fans, and have been since I was a kid. I’ve watched almost every Ghibli film so often that I can quote them in English and Japanese. Then there was this game with a full score from Joe Hisaishi. And it was everything I’d hoped it would be. I cried buckets like I do with every Miyazaki film ever, and loved the characters and the story. And being able to control an interactive Ghibli film was a dream come true. It’s a very immersive game, and charming, and bright, and everything that Ghibli films are.

4. Uncharted 1-3 (and probably 4) (PS3): My love for Nathan Drake knows no bounds. I don’t particularly like action games too much because I’m not really good that them. The jumping and climbing and strategy is super difficult on me, but I adored Uncharted. I fought through the tough trials because the story grabbed me right from the start. And by the time I got to the 3rd game, the visuals were stunning. I can’t remember the last time before I played it that the sets overtook the story and gameplay to be the most impressive thing, but if you’ve played this trilogy you’ll probably never forget almost dying because you were too distracted by the incredible scene design when the cruise ship started to sink.

5. Star Ocean: Til the End of Time (PS2): I’m still not exactly why I love this game so much. There’s not one thing I can put my finger on that drew me in. I just saw posters and pre-release displays before it was released and really wanted to play it. I think it’s just one of those games that feels comfortable to me from start to finish. It was a mix of space opera and fantasy, and I just adored it. The gameplay was a great style for me, and I liked the characters and the familiarity of the JRPG tropes. 

6. Professor Layton (all) (DS/3DS): At first, all I wanted to do was just play a fun puzzle game. And so I bought the first Professor Layton games. And boy did I underestimate my attachment to them. I didn’t expect a puzzle game to have such engaging characters and fun, imaginative storylines, and make me cry with how sweet and wonderful they were. Professor Layton is just one of those franchises that is lovely and fun and pure and brilliant. I love, love, love them.

7. Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy (and Curtain Call) (3DS): There is nothing that I don’t like about these games. I love the FF music, how they stylized the games, how they integrated elements of the games and characters and game modes. And I also really love rhythm games. I’m not great at them, but I love them. And when I’m lounging around not doing anything before bed, I’ll pull one of these games out and tap away for an hour or two and have a blast. 

8. The Legend of Dragoon (Playstation): This game is both fantastic and cheesy all at the same time. The English translation is hilariously bad, very much among the “all your base are belong to us,” horrific stuff, but it doesn’t ruin the game at all. In fact, I think it’s a charming chink the in armor of what is a completely solid JRPG. Everything about it is fairly classic about the RPGs of its time. The turned based combat, stylized characters, linear story, good music. But it still manages to be a cut above and stand the test of time. I still remember playing it and loving it. I’m not entirely sure how it managed to climb up the ranks of the hundreds of other games just like it in its day, but it did, and it deserved to.

9. Parasite Eve (Playstation): This is the first (and only time to date) that a game has scared the shit out of me. I was on edge the entire time playing it. It’s not exactly a horror RPG per se, but it’s definitely creepy and fun and super challenging. For several years after I first played it, I would always bust it out again for a run around Christmas break (it takes place during Christmas in New York.) And something about the whole atmosphere of the game sucks me in every time. PE2 was also pretty good, though not nearly as fun as the first, and that’s why it’s not on the list. And I don’t even want to talk about how awful First Birthday was. It was a huge letdown after waiting all that time for it. But, despite the failing, the original is a true classic, and I will always remember fondly spending part of my Christmas vacations playing it every year.

10. Hotel Dusk Room 215 (DS): Interactive novels are my jam. I sure wish that there were more of them on the market. Hotel Dusk isn’t exactly a complicated story to follow and certainly doesn’t break your brain figuring out the story, but it was fun to play and I adored the experience of being able to play a noire-style murder mystery. The book and game mashup is like peanut butter and chocolate for me.