I would say that you should only be writing for an audience of one, that what matters is you telling a story that only you can tell, that what matters is the pursuit of your hobby/interest/career, just do what you love, blah blah blah. 

But that’s total bullshit, isn’t it?

You’re not writing for an audience of one. You’re writing for an audience of, at minimum, or rounded off, two. You’re writing for you + other person, or you + everyone else. Lots of people tell stories that never see the light of day, but in my experience it wasn’t because they just wanted to write it. It’s because once they did, they figured no one would want to read it.

That’s the thing about writing. There’s always the need for an audience. That’s what writing is for. That’s why there are million posts on this site alone, begging for people to comment/like/reblog/kudos fics they read. The feedback is part of the storytelling. Stories are meant to be told. Meant to be heard. Meant to be shared. Meant to be experienced. That’s the whole point.

Now, I do have a few friends who will never publicly publish their works. They keep journals and folders on their Google Drives to just write the things that come to them. They don’t care about sharing it because the writing is usually personal – only vaguely fictional – and it helps them deal with problems or situations that they’re in. They sometimes feel better making it into a narrative rather than a “Dear Diary” moment. Which is also perfectly awesome, but also not the type of writing that you’re talking about.

Here’s the thing about writing fics, that you’re starting to get: the reason we write fics is to engage the fandom, so it sucks when they don’t engage us back. When we don’t get comments or kudos on fics, we feel like we’re at a party trying to talk to people, and everyone’s ignoring us.

I’ve never found a real solution. On the one hand, I do want to tell you that you should just write what you love and damn the consequences. Hell, write the whole thing until it’s completed and then post it all at once if that gets you to finish it and you don’t have to worry about the lack of reception to hurt your desire to finish it. But on the other hand, I recognize that, except for truly fandom famous people, the rest of us don’t get shit for interaction. People don’t comment. They don’t leave kudos. They don’t reblog. They don’t like. I have no idea why. They read and leave. It’s common even for the more famous fic writers. You can beg every time you post a chapter for kudos or comments. I’ve done that, and it does actually work to some degree. Because I’ll tell you something: the comments that are paragraphs long are just as meaningful to me as the comment I got once that just said, “love!” It was important because it was something.

In the end, I usually just keep writing. I’m not a saint. I get jealous of other writers. I have down moments. Just last night I stopped writing because a troll dragged me down. It happens. But I do like what I write, even if no one else does. And occasionally I get a comment or message that makes shouting into the void worth it. I wait for those. And they do happen.

I hope this helps. It feels like I just wrote a ton of, “it’s fucking pointless” and it’s not that. I was really just agreeing with you at the frustration.