For @joasakura

“Y’know, I said I’d never do this again…” Ianto mutters, blowing into his hands to warm them.

“You make many stupid promises like that,” Vanya answers, beaming so much his face probably hurts. “But you never deny me, and that makes you perfect husband.”

“I swear to God, if we get arrested, I’m divorcing you.”

Vanya snorts as he bends double to tie the last of the lines. “How is that your… how do you say… bar? We have been in the jails together many times.”

“That was different.” He slips around behind Vanya to check and double check his work. “We didn’t go to jail for funsies before.”

“Remember the one near Vegas? Had such good food. Good hospitality.”

“Yes, because that’s what everyone looks for in a fucking jail,” Ianto says dryly.

“Don’t hurt,” Vanya answers. “This is ready now.”

Sighing, Ianto steps back to the garage. He checks his watch. “Right on time. Light it up.”

Vanya clicks the handheld remote and in the driveway, a line of inflatable Christmas decorations light up and begin to inflate. They’d raided the Wal-Mart for the sale items and come away with a Christmas T-Rex, Santa in a rocket ship, a couple of reindeer, and a full nativity scene. It only takes three minutes for them to fully inflate.

The hands on Ianto’s watch tick closer and closer to midnight. With an inward cringe, he sees the neighbors starting to come outside for the midnight celebrations and fireworks. And they’re all staring at the Shepard-Pastushok display because last year had nearly burned the house down. The neighborhood kids had been thrilled.

Ianto brushes his thumb over the red button, watching Vanya all the while, making sure the decorations are up before trotting back to a “safe” distance.

The countdown starts from ten.

A whole chorus of voices around the cul-du-sac raises up. At one, Vanya screams, “FUCK YOU TWENTY-SIXTEEN! SUCK MY RUSSIAN DICK!”

Ianto presses the red button.

One after the other, the decorations explode into a concussive blast, a huge fireball launching up into the night. It’s more Hollywood pyrotechnics than anything, but Ianto’s pretty proud to watch it all go up without a hitch. This time.

The neighbors cheer and Vanya whoops, slapping Ianto hard on the back.

After some more sedate fireworks, and a promise to the kids to blow something else up next year, Vanya and Ianto bring out the long brooms to sweep up the worst of the mess.

“I’ll miss Rex,” Vanya muses.

Ianto chuckles. “Me, too. Happy New Year, Red.”

“Happy New Year, Professor.”