It’s time for my annual sappy post, so buckle up! I am choosing to go into 2018 with a positive attitude and some optimism. 2017 wasn’t exactly bad for me, but there were a lot of ups and downs. Admittedly, I’ve found a lot of solace here on Tumblr over the years, and it feels a little poetic that I’ve just hit 2K followers, too! Thank you all!
Now it’s time to single some people out!
To @ltleflrt : You are my best friend in the whole wide world, and I love you. You’ve literally kept me well and saved my life several times over. Your unconditional and steadfast friendship has meant everything to me. I can’t wait to see you in February. And I can’t wait to be your bestie in 2018 as well! You are amazing, truly. I don’t even have the proper words for it. I love you. So much.
To @queenandthree : You are my local bestie! Thanks for always talking to me, getting me out of the house, getting me into Criminal Minds, and generally just being an awesome person! And thank you for being so patient with me and my shitty schedule and always being busy. You’re the absolute best!
To @joasakura : I love you so much, okay? The things you’ve done, and the things you’ve been through… you’re simply an amazing person all around. I know you have ups and downs, and life throws you curveballs, but you are such a meaningful person in my life, and I hope beyond hope that 2018 is nothing short of incredible for you!
To @svrgebinder : Since I’ve known you, you’ve kicked so much ass! And you’ve also sent me so much maple syrup that I will always be in your debt. Thank you for being so supportive of me and my writing and my life in general. I’m always impressed with how well you’re going through life. You’re gonna do great things in 2018 and beyond. I truly believe that.
To @winchester-reload : You’re one of my more recent friends here, but there’s very little about you that I don’t look up to completely. Your talent and humor and kindness rock my world. And I’ve always wanted to say that you have made as big an impact on me as your art. You leave a huge impression, and I’m so grateful for that!
To @unforth-ninawaters : I think that you’re just great. I love talking to you, knowing you, seeing how you’re doing. Just. Everything. You’re loving and brave and wonderful, and your family is amazing. It’s an honor being your friend, and also a distinct pleasure. Your family’s going to grow even more in 2018, and with that, I pray for that much more increased happiness for you!
To @vorchagirl : Thank you for being a source of support and friendship for me over the years. We may have diverged in fandom and all that, but your steady friendship means the world to me. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but every time we do, it’s always an adventure! You are a true friend, and one that I’m so very proud to have.
To @ladyamesindy : My knitting friend! You’ve sent me yarn and love and wonderful things! I appreciate it so much, and am so thankful to call you a friend! I admire you so much. I really want you to know that. You’re so warm, loving, kind to me and everyone you call a friend. People like you are rare, and I’m lucky to know you on so many levels.
@ladylilithprime : We’ve known each other for so long in real life that I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how much I love you and your spouse and your kids, but I do. I’m calling you out on that. You’re fantastic. I love you so much, and I hope 2018 brings you all the happiness you deserve!
To everyone else: I know I’m missing people here, and I hate that, but please know that if we talk regularly, then you are a dear friend to me. I know I’m sort of a recluse in real life since being a full time worker and single mom makes me so tired. But all y’all have kept me in the world and connected when I don’t see other human beings besides my Nerdler for days at a time outside of work. I appreciate all of you. I love all of you. I truly wish for 2018 to be a blessing for all of you.
We made it.
I’m here for you.
I love you.
JJ
I am going to literally cry all my going-out makeup off because of this post. JJ, your wonderful story additions have not only enrichched my artwork, but my life as well. I’m so fortunate to know you, and I can’t wait to kick 2018 in the teeth with you♥️♥️♥️♥️
Now excuse me while I go drink my face off as we salt and burn the monster-corpse that is 2017
Put a few back for me! Be safe tonight! Kick this monster’s ass and take its name! 😀
Sweetie we love you too! I’ve told you quite often how your fluffy fics helped me through difficult months this past year! You keep rockin’ it, writing it, and we’ll keep reading it! All the best to you in 2018!!!
I knew I was forgetting people! You and your art have been such a treasure to find! Especially when you told me my fics inspired you! I’ll be forever touched about that, and you are such a wonderful person to boot! I’m so glad we’re Tumblr chums!
It’s time for my annual sappy post, so buckle up! I am choosing to go into 2018 with a positive attitude and some optimism. 2017 wasn’t exactly bad for me, but there were a lot of ups and downs. Admittedly, I’ve found a lot of solace here on Tumblr over the years, and it feels a little poetic that I’ve just hit 2K followers, too! Thank you all!
Now it’s time to single some people out!
To @ltleflrt : You are my best friend in the whole wide world, and I love you. You’ve literally kept me well and saved my life several times over. Your unconditional and steadfast friendship has meant everything to me. I can’t wait to see you in February. And I can’t wait to be your bestie in 2018 as well! You are amazing, truly. I don’t even have the proper words for it. I love you. So much.
To @queenandthree : You are my local bestie! Thanks for always talking to me, getting me out of the house, getting me into Criminal Minds, and generally just being an awesome person! And thank you for being so patient with me and my shitty schedule and always being busy. You’re the absolute best!
To @joasakura : I love you so much, okay? The things you’ve done, and the things you’ve been through… you’re simply an amazing person all around. I know you have ups and downs, and life throws you curveballs, but you are such a meaningful person in my life, and I hope beyond hope that 2018 is nothing short of incredible for you!
To @svrgebinder : Since I’ve known you, you’ve kicked so much ass! And you’ve also sent me so much maple syrup that I will always be in your debt. Thank you for being so supportive of me and my writing and my life in general. I’m always impressed with how well you’re going through life. You’re gonna do great things in 2018 and beyond. I truly believe that.
To @winchester-reload : You’re one of my more recent friends here, but there’s very little about you that I don’t look up to completely. Your talent and humor and kindness rock my world. And I’ve always wanted to say that you have made as big an impact on me as your art. You leave a huge impression, and I’m so grateful for that!
To @unforth-ninawaters : I think that you’re just great. I love talking to you, knowing you, seeing how you’re doing. Just. Everything. You’re loving and brave and wonderful, and your family is amazing. It’s an honor being your friend, and also a distinct pleasure. Your family’s going to grow even more in 2018, and with that, I pray for that much more increased happiness for you!
To @vorchagirl : Thank you for being a source of support and friendship for me over the years. We may have diverged in fandom and all that, but your steady friendship means the world to me. We don’t talk as much as we used to, but every time we do, it’s always an adventure! You are a true friend, and one that I’m so very proud to have.
To @ladyamesindy : My knitting friend! You’ve sent me yarn and love and wonderful things! I appreciate it so much, and am so thankful to call you a friend! I admire you so much. I really want you to know that. You’re so warm, loving, kind to me and everyone you call a friend. People like you are rare, and I’m lucky to know you on so many levels.
@ladylilithprime : We’ve known each other for so long in real life that I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how much I love you and your spouse and your kids, but I do. I’m calling you out on that. You’re fantastic. I love you so much, and I hope 2018 brings you all the happiness you deserve!
To everyone else: I know I’m missing people here, and I hate that, but please know that if we talk regularly, then you are a dear friend to me. I know I’m sort of a recluse in real life since being a full time worker and single mom makes me so tired. But all y’all have kept me in the world and connected when I don’t see other human beings besides my Nerdler for days at a time outside of work. I appreciate all of you. I love all of you. I truly wish for 2018 to be a blessing for all of you.
Thank you, affirmation anon! I am exhausted and will probably be asleep at midnight along with my sick kid, but when I wake up in 2018, I’ll be ready to rock it! :D:D:D:D
Sam’s mouth is hanging open, jaw completely lax. He knows he looks ridiculous, but he can’t undo it for the time being. There’s just… too much going on. It’s hard enough processing what he’s seeing, much less what he’s hearing.
“Dean said this would be a good idea,” Castiel is currently rambling. “He said it would be ‘sexy,’ and that most human males like things such as this.”
Sam can’t even laugh at the air quotes. It’s too much on top of a way too much sundae.
“Frankly, I fail to see the appeal. It feels slightly ridiculous, truth be told. Then again, I am an angel, so it could be that this is one more thing that I’m incapable of understanding about the human condition. I just-”
“Cas!” Sam finally manages to get out. He holds up a hand in a stopping motion. “Please. Hang on a minute, okay?”
Castiel obeys, blue eyes pleading. “Of course, Sam.”
“I’m… right. Can you… I need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.”
Castiel sighs, head hanging. “Dean lied.” He shuffles to the dresser and pulls out a pair of clean boxers, tugging them on. It makes it easier to handle the fake halo perched on the real angel’s head, the red bow tie, and his glossy black wings spread behind him, now curving inward in embarrassment. “I knew I was still too gullible.”
Sam smiles encouragingly. “It’s not that, really. I mean, I was a little… uh, shocked to see you… like…” he waves his hands vaguely in Castiel’s direction, indicating his entire body. “Well, like that, but it’s definitely not unpleasant. You’re…” he rubs the back of his neck. “You didn’t need to do anything like this for me, though. I mean… what’s this all about?”
Castiel takes the halo off of his head, staring at it in consternation before flinging it negligently to the bed. “I’m not good at romantic overtures. You weren’t getting it, so I approached Dean for advice.”
Sam crosses his arms over his chest, if only to keep the sudden flood of emotions inside. He’s surprised at how even his voice sounds when he says, “and he suggested a naked Valentine’s angel? Dude, Cas, you could have just said something to me.” In an mumbled undertone, he adds, “I wouldn’t have said no.”
Castiel’s head snaps back up. Unconsciously, his wings curve towards Sam. “You would have?”
Sam reaches out, stroking the long feathers near the tips of Castiel’s wings. It has the effect of drawing Castiel closer, bringing the extra warmth with him. “Yeah.” He dips his head down.
“May I kiss you Sam?”
“Kiss me,” Sam whispers, luxuriating in the long-awaited sensation of the angel’s lips pressed to him. It’s everything he’s ever wanted. And it dawns on him that Castiel probably feels the same.
Better late than never, he thinks. Maybe he shouldn’t have told Castiel to put underwear on after all.
There are certain things that have to change when one comes back from the dead, Kaidan supposes. At first, it’s all plain as day. The easy smile on the commander’s face is completely absent for months. He favors his right leg every now and then on a mission that requires prolonged use of heavy armor. He doesn’t take the cold as well as he used to.
But the small changes become the new normal for a time. Kaidan gets used to the fact that Shepard stops drinking alcohol because the Cerberus implants flush his system so fast that he can’t enjoy it. The taste “feels wrong,” too. Lots of things do.
Eventually he stops going to the bars, and then going out much all together.
But newer new stuff happens as well. Shepard, so outgoing, so confident, begins to withdraw. He holes up in his cabin for hours. Shoulders tight with tension in the mess when he eats. Fingers clenched until his knuckles are white on the rail in front of the Normandy’s map.
And it dawns on Kaidan through observation that Shepard’s needs elsewhere have also changed. And it’s not as strange or off putting as the major thought it would be.
The first time he gets an inkling of it, it’s the worst possible moment. They’re trapped in a shitty pre-fab Cerberus set up on a no-name moon, on their knees and cuffed. Despite the severity of the situation – literal guns to their heads – Shepard’s shoulders are slumped and he appears more relaxed than he had before his death. Kaidan thinks it’s because he’s not worried. The rest of their team will be able to bail them out soon enough.
But then, it happens again. Combat’s gotten… closer quarters than normal, and Shepard takes a firm fist to his perfect jaw. It flattens him, but instead of being angry, he goes down laughing.
It’s then that Kaidan realizes. Shepard is still capable of relaxing. Letting go. Being happy. But it has to be… in more of a firm way. And preferably when their lives aren’t literally at stake. There are safer ways to do this. Saner.
Kaidan hacks into Shepard’s quarters that very night. Shepard doesn’t look surprised to see him.
“Kaidan,” he says, stepping over in the familiar way they’d had between them for years.
“No,” Kaidan says, holding up a pair of cuffs. “There are things I’ve learned about you. Things I can help with. Things I’ve discovered about myself.”
Catching his meaning, Shepard’s smile spreads as he begins to undress. “About you? What’s that?”
Wolfishly, Kaidan says, “I need you to know that my name is actually sir.”
Jupiter Astrid James 