So. I have done a thing. Please go subscribe to the thing if you like awkward lesbians, books that are actually hot guys that are actually books fighting evil meme clowns, and the like.
The thing will be updating twice a week as I can manage it.
My neighbor had tears streaming down his face he was laughing so hard and just sat there smoking while the questioned me about my belief in ghosts. It was amazing. I just smiled and told them my daughter was afraid of ghosts, so all the windows are salted from her, I have cats, and a lot of SPN swag that has protection sigils and stuff, so I’m probably fine. The one cop was like, super into it, and the other cop was like, “that means it’s probably a human, Vargas, move on.” He was so done. 😀
LOL I got questioned by the police today about my haunting, while slightly drunk.
Context:
So, those of you around here last summer may recall that for several months, I had a “haunting” in my apartment building. Well. We never found out what it was, but outside, there’s an attic access panel that would be open every now and then (I live on the top floor), and the maintenance guys couldn’t figure out why it was open. So they screwed it shut and it was never open again. But I never heard noise and never saw anything.
Present Day:
A few minutes ago, I go outside to take out the trash and my neighbor is there with a couple of cops. The access panel is open again and he says he heard footsteps over his apartment last night around 3:00 am. Neither of our units have attic access inside, so there’s no immediate danger of break in, but still.
So, here’s how the conversation went almost verbatim:
COP #1: So, the footsteps stopped, and when you came out this morning the panel was open?
NEIGHBOR: Yes.
ME: Oh! The haunting! That happened last spring and summer, too before [NEIGHBOR] lived here! I never heard anything, though. Just saw the panel open. We couldn’t figure it out, so I said it was a ghost.
COP #2: *100% serious* Did you burn sage or anything? What happened afterwards?
ME: Well, Mr. Winchester, it doesn’t appear to have worked.
COP #1: Ms. [IRISH NAME REDACTED] have you been drinking today?
ME: Yes, I’m an [IRISH NAME] and it’s St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve had a few, but I’m also serious about last year.
NEIGHBOR: *cracks up*
MAINTENANCE GUY: She’s not drunk. I’ve known her five years. She’s always like this.
this is the funniest gif i’ve seen all week what the fuck is going on
the best part is this isn’t even HALF the relentless bullshit insanity that goes on in robot sumo wrestling, a sport where the contestants are all hyperfast robots with scoop attachments and preprogrammed moves.
(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)
the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter
or dodging. that works too.
also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors
WIIINGS MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR
robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.
FLYYYYYYY
I hope you enjoyed our foray into madness!
IT GOT BETTER!!!
Y’all. Looking at professionally made sumo robots is great. You know what’s better though? Looking at extremely UNprofessionally made sumo robots.
Here enjoy.
oh my god please watch this video
“she gave up looking for the robot and sent us a photo of her having a beer. the crowd applauded this act of supreme crappiness.”
one robot is just a kleenex box with a bunch of dildos on it, one does nothing but shake a packet of instant soup, i love humanity so much right now
!!!
WATCH THE VIDEO it is the best thing i’ve ever seen i’m laughing so hard
“Crappiness trumps strategy” is something I want tattooed on my body. Preferably on my ass.
Jupiter Astrid James 