As a reward for a job well done in our small department that recently had a MAJOR shakeup, our boss took us out to a super expensive lunch today.
Naturally, I sat next to Hot Coworker. Or more accurately, he asked to sit next to me. Yes, we shared a menu and talked all the options. Yes, we compromised on what to get so the two of us could share.
Then we quoted Ghostbusters back and forth at each other. Then after about a half hour we rejoined the rest of the conversation around the table. And by that I mean, he said, “so [other male coworker sitting beside him] just got back into Supernatural, too. He’s on season 8.” And the three of us started talking about that.
Then, I don’t even know how it happened, my program director and I got into a long, intense discussion on Grey’s Anatomy while the men around us looked on in horror.
Hot coworker has got a girlfriend and everything, but I’m fine being a friend he flirts with. I had the best time.
Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity.
Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.
I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips
So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head
Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.
Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.
Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus
Canon Jesus did some very weird shit. Like, just before throwing the market out of the temple, he stole a donkey, then cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on it. The next day, or possibly immediately, everyone was amazed that the fig tree he had cursed was withered. He must’ve been in a fuckin weird mood. Going through a Dark Period. The Chaotic Mage of Light losing his shit just a little bit.
“So, what the fuck was that, Jesus?” someone asked as they’re all looking at the horribly withered corpse of the poor cursed tree.
“The power of prayer,” Jesus said absently.
“… wait, is cursing literally a form of prayer? Because some Wiccans are going to be really upset about that, like, they have a whole threefold law thing, is this… okay?”
“Listen,” said Jesus, “If I tell a mountain to get back in the sea? The mountain will get in the fucking sea. Do you want me to tell you to get in the sea?”
And they were all like, “Good demo, Jesus. Good lesson.”
Meanwhile, he was having the aforementioned public brawl in the temple.
Just keep that in mind during this election cycle – viable answers for What Would Jesus Do include flipping tables, stealing animals and striking down shrubbery with magic, all in one week.
Before Holy Week in the church calendar comes the lesser-known festival of Christ Doesn’t Give A Fuck Week
I now have a mental image of Jesus as Negan from the walking dead, dolling out justice on religious heathens with a table leg studded with nails.
The fig tree incident happened because he was hungry and couldn’t find any fruit on it. Anyone who’s experienced low blood sugar can relate to that tantrum.
Jesus was hangry.
I’m tagging myself from @ltleflrt‘s open invitation!
Post 10 gifs of your favorite shows without saying what they are. Then tag 10 people!
this is mean and terrible but it exhausts me to be around people who haven’t finished going through their pretentious asshole phase like okay holden caulfield I know we’re all helplessly suckling at the teat of modern media but can you shut up and play some goddamn mario kart for like five minutes
Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?
I can, indeed! It was a Sailor Moon fic, and all the scouts ended up having this huge orgy. It was super awesome!
50.
If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?
I don’t want to cop out on this one, and say, “it depends on the fandom,” but it does! If we’re talking SPN, I’ll go with fluff because it’s what I’m known for. And because every time I write fluff people seem so relieved. If it was like, Mass Effect? Smut. All the way.
Jupiter Astrid James 