I opened up my bedroom window to air it out and also listen to the rain. In the grassy area I hear a kid splashing around in the puddles and then, 

PARENT: “Yeah, ‘course you can be a warrior, but every warrior has a battle cry.”

*silence*

KID: *suddenly running and screaming* “HAAAAAAM SANDWIIIIIIICH!!!!”

Unless I’ve guessed the show he’s on, usually my neighbor isn’t allowed to tell me what show or movie he’s acting in. But he is allowed to tell me what he’s doing that day.

Here are some of my favorites:

  • “I’m going to shop at the Piggly Wiggly for twelve hours.”
  • “They’re going to put me in a hobo beard and make me sell hotdogs to disgruntled teenagers.”
  • (on Halloween) “I’m going to miss Halloween to be in a Forth of July parade.”
  • “I”m marching in Mardi Gras right down the subway tunnel.”
  • “I get to dress as a baked potato and sing badly.”
  • “They were going to put me in full makeup, but the costume shop was overrun by brown recluses.”
  • “I’m making a lot of sandwiches today.”