can you believe female hysteria was considered like an actual medical thing… god
mary louise moneybags in 1880: im horny all the time and also sad and i feel dissatisfied with my shitty life i dont want kids i hate my dad and my husband
dr mis o’geny: i diagnose you with WOMAN
LOL 1880S HAVE YOU TRIED MODERN FRENCH MEDICINE? fuck
My doctor in Japan tried to diagnose me with hysteria in 2005…
“Wait. What,” Ianto says, thinking he misheard the little ginger vanguard. “What.”
The helmet smells like Krogan balls and his stolen O-Sec uniform makes him feel like he’s got scale itch. But the vorcha mafia has Kaidan and by god, they’re gonna get him back, even it means an ill-advised undercover sting.
“I need you to shoot me. But miss me- sort of? Like, shoot me? But just wing me- but don’t make it obviously winging me. People know when it’s a deliberate winging, ya know? So, like twenty percent shoot me. That way, I seem like I’ve thrown down with the cops, that’s you. And they’ll be more inclined to trust me. I get in, I find Special K, and we’re out.”
“You want me to twenty percent shoot you,” Ianto repeats, wondering at what point he lost control of this operation to a fun-sized human thanix cannon.
“And eighty percent miss me,” Vanya repeats as though he’s making perfect sense.
“After this, we are never coming back to Omega again,” Ianto groans, and Vanya quirks an eyebrow.
“Come on. This is the best vacation we’ve ever had.”
*wheezing laughter* Everything always ends up with Ianto being both confused and vaguely turned on.
*briefly watching the election news*
NERDLER: *starts crying*
ME: “What’s going on? Did something happen?!”
NERDLER: *points to The Cheeto in Chief on screen* “He’s saying such mean things and he’s ugly!”
Oh, my sweet, sweet 7-year old child. How right you are. I immediately turned off the news.
@winchester-reload is my darling! I love taking her art and making fics with it. 😀 It sounds like you’ve had a great day, really!
And honestly? I tend to pack like, hours before leaving somewhere, so I have no authority to mom-voice you about that. But I hope you manage to get packed and have a great time on your trip!
Do y’all remember the boy outside my building who decided his war cry was “Ham Sandwich”? Well, he’s outside again playing in the rain (it seems to be a theme with him) and he said, “MOMMY! The color of the sky is making the raindrops the color of pee! GOD’S PEEING ON ME AND IT’S COLD!”
ME: *takes antidepressant after a long time off of them.*
BRAIN: New chemical? What chemical?
ME: Happy chemical.
BRAIN: Did you say sleepy chemical?
ME: No, it’s happy chemical.
BRAIN: Ooh! Sleepy chemical!
ME: No! H.a.p.p.y. c.h.e.m.i.c.a.l. We got shit to do, no sleeping.
BRAIN: OKAY! SLEEPY CHEMICAL! GOT IT!
MY CUBE MATE: *kicks my chair to wake me up at 12:00 PM at work.*
ME: *takes pill at night instead*
MY CUBE MATE: *kicks my chair to wake me up at 3:00 PM at work.*
*ONE DAY LATER*
BRAIN: What’s this? More new medicine? What’s this for?
ME: You’re still re-calibrating, so we need short term calm down medicine.
BRAIN: Sneezing medicine?
ME: WTF?! No??!! Why would I EVER want that?
BRAIN: You’re right, my bad. Okey, dokey!
ME: *sneezes incessantly for hours*
Jupiter Astrid James 